How did I come to teaching a workshop called, Monetizing Your Appeal Online: Content, Business Strategies for Models, Dommes? How does one become an online domme, or fetish content producer, or their own boss? Why do I want to share this valuable information?
I am an actively working Asian Online Dominatrix. So, I don’t just teach it, I live it, I work it. This story begins at DomCon. Yes, there is a convention for everything. I saw that most of the women who attended were in-person dommes. And when they found out about my work and my specializations, they were surprised to find out that I could make a very good living doing only online domination and online content production. They had lots of questions and preconceived notions about what it takes to do this work.
“I really like the in-person connection, I just don’t think you can have that in online domination.”
“What kind of services do people pay for?”
“How do you dominate anyone without being in front of them?”
“How do people find you? How do you find clients?”
I realized that many professional dominatrices were intimidated and perhaps embarrassed that they did not know how to work online. I also realized that people from all sorts of backgrounds wanted to learn how to do the work that I do.
I also realized how invested I am in helping others through these classes because this work has given me so much. The life that I am able to live is made possible by this work. The life I left, in which I was terribly abused, was made possible by this work. The woman I am, the confidence that I hold, the relationships I have developed with other bad-ass sex workers… all of this is made possible by this work. So, teaching how to do this work finally made sense. It was time to pay it forward.
Here lie the true reasons behind sharing all of this knowledge and information… not just in being bossy to other people. Putting the intelligent work into my business has given me a sense of self, growth, autonomy, creativity, confidence and success. I thought, how great would it be if others could find the same freedoms, creativity and money & fun?
What makes my online business successful? It’s a mixture of making brutally honest self-evaluations; prioritizing content strategies; gathering tools, assessing costs, honing skills. Last but not least, really loving the work that I do, the freedom it provides, the autonomy and creativity I have in my own life. I am my own boss. And the boss of many.
From start to finish, the workshop is about 3.5 hours of a beginner’s class followed by an advanced class. I teach the basics of sex work, the start-up costs & necessities, self-evaluation, online content, strategies and marketing and what actions to take. Then, I tailor the advanced class to the participants after getting a feel for the levels at which they are already working.
Figuring out how to get all of this in a presentation that isn’t a complete snoozefest was a challenge. I didn’t want to just stand there and lecture. Fortunately, I am able to pepper in lots of stories and real-life anecdotes that seem to get everyone engaged and laughing.
One of my students & friend, Stella Sol, wrote this, “I really enjoyed your class in SF & have been busy ever since b/c I’ve been taking your advice. I am already seeing a dramatic increase in my traffic, income & understand of online marketing.”
Another wrote this. “When teaching, Mz. Kim brings an incredible level of presence, professionalism, and information to her classes. Along with being organized, she has a diverse knowledge base that is eternally fascinating to learn from. As a teacher, Mz. Kim does an excellent job of tying in personal anecdotes and humor that enrich your learning experience. As a coach, Mz. Kim is thoughtful and inventive, and you can feel that she truly wants to help you achieve your goals. I am grateful for the wisdom Mz. Kim has shared with me.”
These reviews bring such an immense feeling of satisfaction.
There was something that stood out of the workshops I have taught. Community. Sex work can be isolating. That’s part of the draw, actually. So, that’s the double-edged sword. We can work alone, and be left alone. But then, we are alone.
The sense of community and meeting others in this industry has been an essential part of my own growth and I think a welcomed relief to many of my students. No person is an island. There are things that others can teach us so that we do not have to re-invent the wheel. By providing these workshops, I have given an opportunity for people to get together and meet others. They come to learn the contents of my class, but they leave with a larger sense of community.
Another of the limitations of this work is stigma. It can weigh down on us in ways we don’t realize. From not being able to use easy payment processors to not being able to post ads on Facebook; from having photographs and content constantly taken down on Instagram or Tumblr to having negative reactions from significant others and their family members, stigma in this line of work is real. Talking to others dealing with the same issues, and sharing solutions… this is something valuable that a real-time class can provide.
I wish that I had this kind of class when I was starting out in online sex work. And sometimes, it’s been hard to show SWs that this class can be useful to them. This kind of education isn’t as glamorous as a hard-skills class. A choking class like one I took recently from Domina Snow, a personal friend and colleague, would be considered a hard-skills class. I haven’t used this choking skillset nearly as much as the “Deep Work” segment of my own class. As Snow said, “We always teach the most important things that our younger selves needed to know, but it never seems to be received with the same value.”
Still, I hope that more people and SWs will let me teach them. Once they step into my workshop, they will see just how valuable this information is. How important it is to meet others in the same community. And I hope that I will get to hear how this work has changed their lives as they have changed mine.